Being a teacher and working with children for the past 10+ years of my life, I have spent quite a bit of time observing them. It is always interesting to me to see their little personalities develop from early on. Quite often you categorize children into two broad categories: leaders and followers. And on the playground that is exactly how it works out, some children lead while others follow. It is always the leaders that seem to get in arguments with one another, neither one willing to forsake their ideas and unwilling to compromise, all while the follower stands by and watches or even tries to mediate the situation. It seems to just be "their nature", the way they were made. From the perspective of a Christian, we see much more in that, the innocence isn't what it seems, but rather a sinful nature evidencing itself.
When I was this age, I too fell into one of these categories. I was a leader. I may have not always had to have my way, but I knew exactly how to get a group of people to play something I wanted to play or how to get little girls to follow me. I am ashamed to say I often gloried in this.
As the Lord continued to work in my life throughout the years, I began to see my sinful "nature" more and more, and realized that I couldn't blame my personality for the sinful ways in which I behaved. I also realized that what could be a stumbling block in my Christlikeness could also be used for His glory. Christ began to use my "strong" personality to make me a woman of conviction. His Spirit enabled me to stand for what was right in situations in which had I rested in my own strength, I would have fallen. I praise God for this.
In all honesty, the thought of following someone in marriage always seemed exciting to me, despite the leader within. I know it was the Spirit's desire within me to follow a man who feared the Lord. What I did fear however, was the temptation I could potentially face to lead in a relationship where my future husband didn't lead. I always was one who would take the lead if nobody else would. But in all honesty, as God sanctified me, I became less and less interested in being the leader, and deeply desired to follow a strong one. I believe that this is due to the fact that I had such a Godly example of a leader in my own family in my father, something I am forever grateful for.
"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." -1 Peter 3:1-6
1 Peter 3 became a picture of Godly submission that I prayed I would emulate in my own marriage one day. I wanted to be beautiful and precious in the eyes of my Father in heaven (and my husband) as I adorned myself in the Word, in Godly character, and in submission to the one in which He put above me. That's when it became powerfully real. As I sat and thought about that for a moment, I realized that it was GOD who I was ultimately submitting to, who I was following, because HE was the one who ultimately put a head, a covering above me. What a beautiful Truth. There was safety in my submission because in obedience to Christ I could trust He was leading all the while.
All that to say, here I am, almost 3 months into marriage and learning more and more what it looks like to submit, to follow, and to help. Although I know that I have so much to grow in, I am so blessed to see God actively working in our marriage to enable both Keith and I to fulfill the roles we were created to fulfill. I am so grateful the Lord has called me to follow a man that I respect more than any other man on this earth, who loves and fears the Almighty more than all, who cherishes me, his wife, and who seeks to lead me to Him daily. Following a man like this is a gift.
I may always have the tendency to be the kid on the playground leading the pack, but by the grace of God I can use the strength He has given me to love, encourage and support my husband in His leading of our family.
Thank you for that!
ReplyDelete