Master Planner

If you know me well enough, you'll agree that I tend to be a "planner".  I like to be organized, scheduled, and know exactly what is going on at every moment of the day.  I make lists for just about everything and even detail the estimated time it will take me to do simple things like clean the house.  And although it sometimes comes in handy to have everything so organized, I am often reminded of how little control over life I really do have.


Being "flexible" is something that the Lord has taught me throughout my walk with Him.  I would say it has been more of a lesson of trusting Him, and remembering that I don't have control.  That was a news flash for me a couple times in the early years of my faith.  There was something about the reality of God's sovereign control over ALL things that I just couldn't wrap my mind around.  And even though I still can't, by His grace He has enabled me to fully embrace that Truth and love it.  


What is so precious about all of this is how sweet HIS plans for my life have been.  Looking back, when I tried to take things into my own hands (or so it seemed), everything was a mess, nothing worked.  My attempt at doing life the way I wanted to, planning every major life event, well, just didn't work out.  And yet, He continued to rescue me from my failings, comfort me with His grace and love, dust me off, and put me "back on track".  


There came a point in my walk where I remember finally admitting that I was done trying to control any part of my life.  Every dream I had seemed to have had been shattered to pieces and the emptiness I felt was deep.  Although I had a lot, it felt like He was all I had.  And that was EXACTLY where I needed to be.  Totally dependent, comforted by the Savior's precious love.  That was a turning point.  That was a time I can look back upon in my sanctification with much joy and gratefulness knowing that it was by HIS sovereign plan that I was brought low so that He might be brought high.  


You see, from that moment on, every good gift I have received, every "dream" I have achieved, has been a new way for me to lift Him up and bring Him glory.  It is ALL Him, I had no part.  James is right when he says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change" (1:17). Every good thing that has ever come in my life has been a measure of His grace, a gift from my Father in heaven.  Nothing I have now that I see is good is because I earned it, was so obedient, or planned it out perfectly; it is all because of Him, a grace, a precious treasure from His hands out of fatherly love.  What an amazing reality that is.


I may still be a planner in many ways, but when it comes to planning anything other than cleaning or what I'm buying at Costco this week...I think I'll leave it up to the One who knows best :), after all, He calls the shots whether I believe it or not.

When I Distrust

"I am the Lord, and there is no other; Besides Me there is no God. I will gird you, though you have not known Me; That men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun That there is no one besides Me. I am the Lord, and there is no other, The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these." -Isaiah 45:5-7

From the moment I learned what it meant that God was sovereign, I was humbled.  There was something so amazing about that Truth, something so humbling, and something that brought me so much peace.  Although even now I am still far from comprehending what that really means, I am so grateful for its reality.  Living day in and day out in an uncertain world knowing that God is sovereign is probably one of the most precious truths I meditate upon.  


But, even though I know in my mind that God IS sovereign over ALL things, I fail to exhibit the faith to walk knowing that each and every day.  The foolishness of my sinful heart in doubting the goodness of God is what leads me to distrusting His sovereignty.  It isn't so much that I don't know or believe that He is in control, or sovereign, because believe me, I do.  It is rather the fact that I began to worry, fear, or wonder if His sovereign plan is good or best.  Of course I would never say that, but my behavior at times speaks for itself; my worried heart, my anxious thoughts.  So what to do?  How do I battle this in my own life?  Here are three simple things that I do often:


(1) Recognize and Repent- I know myself better than anyone, other than God, and I am the first to know when my heart is veering off path.  I know when worry is overtaking me and my distrust in God's sovereign goodness is occurring. In those moments, I stop and recognize my weakness, my sin, and ask the Lord for forgiveness.  I remember the cross and the price Christ paid for my sin of worry, fear, and doubt, and that His blood covers me in full.  


(2) Read and Recite- Then I get in the Word, and meditate upon the Truths of who my God is and His sovereign faithfulness in all of Scripture.  I will recall Scripture I have hidden in my heart like Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 46:10, Proverbs 3:5-6, and Philippians 4:6-7.  In those moments my heart is refreshed.


(3) Remember and Refocus- Then I come to the Lord in prayer, remembering who He is, thanking Him for who He is, and refocusing my heart on that.  I ask for His grace and strength to enable me to walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel, and honoring to Him.  I recognize that it is only by His power and grace that I can trust Him, and exhibit the faith I am called to have.  


Through these simple graces I am put back on track, steadfastly trusting in our sovereign and good God.  For Him, I am so thankful.  Be encouraged to do the same whenever you doubt, fear, worry, or distrust.  He is FAITHFUL to enable, remind, and strengthen you!

Make Christ Your Story

Stepping into marriage I have to admit I thought I knew a lot.  I had read a ton of books, had ten months of pre-marital counseling, and had been praying for this for years and years.  Although I know that living out the reality of marriage would be the hands on experience I needed to put what I had learned into practice, I didn't realize how little I really knew.  I might have been able to quote Scripture relating to my role as a wife, or recall quotes that I believed had prepared me for the real deal, but it wouldn't be until the day I stepped into marriage, and there after, that I would recognize the high calling I had been entrusted with.

Being a wife is not something you will ever master.  Ask the wise women in your congregation who have logged 40, 50, 60 years in the book, and they will be the first to admit this.  At 25 you may think you know nothing, but at 45, you will realize how little you do know in a whole knew light.  I suppose the goal isn't perfection (although I'd love to be the perfect wife), but rather progression.  Year two should build upon year one, and so on.  Your role as wife will change, reshape, and be strengthened as you continue pursuing Christ throughout your marriage.  And although you will never "arrive" so to speak, you will see the evidences of His grace in your life more and more.  Of that I am confident.

Something the Lord has been continually impressing on my heart throughout the last 10 months is my calling as a "helper".  I am a wife, yes, but I am a helper.  There have been days where I have cried out to the Lord asking what on earth that even means, days I have been encouraged by wisdom from the Word in relation to this idea, and days when I have seen God's grace enabling me to actually be a helper to my husband.  But it is something I am no where near in succeeding at.  Something that I continually need God's grace to accomplish daily.  

I was reminded today that there is no "one size fits all" wife or helper.  Yes, there is explicit details in Scripture about certain characteristics and responsibilites I as a wife must possess and/or fulfill, but helping my husband may not look the same as you helping yours.  John Piper has a book called This Momentary Marriage in which he reminds each reader of the temporal nature of marriage.  He reminds the reader of the primary verses the secondary.  

"Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly 

about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his 

church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. 

Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being 

united to Christ by faith is a greater source of marital success than per- 

fect sex and double-income prosperity. 

If we make secondary things primary, they cease to be secondary 

and become idolatrous. They have their place. But they are not first, 

and they are not guaranteed. Life is precarious, and even if it is long 

by human standards, it is short. “What is your life? For you are a mist 

that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). “Do not 

boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring” 

(Prov. 27:1). So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, 

or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. 

It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we 

make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows 

we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what 

God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our 

way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to 

succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and 

his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it. 

Very soon the shadow will give way to Reality. The partial will pass 

into the Perfect. The foretaste will lead to the Banquet. The troubled 

path will end in Paradise. A hundred candle-lit evenings will come to 

their consummation in the marriage supper of the Lamb. And this 

momentary marriage will be swallowed up by Life. Christ will be all 

and in all. And the purpose of marriage will be complete."

As I watched a short video today of a young couple and the way in which they glorified God in their marriage I was literally in awe.  Here was a man who could not fulfill the secondary roles as a husband (such as providing with a job), but who strove to fulfill his primary (leading his wife to Christ); and a wife, who helped her husband, exactly the way SHE had been called to help HER husband.  The story was touching, but what was more moving was that I saw Christ in it all.  He was their story.  And a light bulb in my head clicked.  My role, or job as a helper to MY husband is to make Christ our story, to make Him look beautiful, to make the Gospel shine. Yes, I knew these things in my mind, but I hadn't quite figured out how to live them out.  This precious example spurred me on.  And I highly recommend you take the few minutes it takes to let their love for Christ motivate you: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-story-of-ian-larissa

Seasons

Our lives are made up of "seasons".  The wise Solomon reminds us of this truth in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal, a time to break down, and a time to build up;a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance;a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away;a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace."

The reality is that life is not constant, things are always changing, and that we aren't promised anything about tomorrow. Whether you are 22, 35, or 67, you can attest to the truth of this.  You can look back on your life and see seasons where you were living in what seemed like complete bliss, and others that have left scar tissue on your heart.  There seemed to be good in every season and trouble, moments where you went with more than you could have asked or imagined and moments where you seemed to be in 'want'.  In each season there was joy and tears, and in each season you found yourself recognizing your dependence on the Sovereign God more and more.  

Each season, always purposeful in many ways, seem to always remind us of that very Truth- our dependence on the Sovereign God. The wise Lord purposes and mixes each season with joy and sorrow in order for our faith to increase, our Christ-likeness to grow, our hearts to be refocused, and His glory to be shown.  I love the fresh start of a new season, because often it is mixed with much joy and excitement of what is to come; but on the flip side, I am somewhat even more in awe in the midst of the season as I find myself remembering my utter dependence upon Him for ALL things-even those things that bring me joy.  

Looking back on the seasons you have went through is a good thing.  You may reflect on your childhood and praise God for salvation, you may remember your college age years and the struggles you faced in standing for the Truth amidst a generation that wanted nothing to do with God, you find joy in remembering the day God brought your other half into your life and the honeymoon bliss you experienced, or maybe you remember the amazing joy and discouraged tears you went through as you raised children of your own...(and the list goes on).  In each season you can see God's handprints, His perfect working, and your dependence on Him.  

Whatever season you might be in, find joy and strength in knowing He is working perfectly for your good and the glory of His name...and remember, your total dependence on Him, no matter where you are, find hope and peace in that.  Look back on each season, and be grateful, and see today, the season you are living in, as a gift from Him!