Love In Trial

"For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." -James 1:3-4

The lavish love of the Father is absolutely magnificent.  I can name countless things and circumstances that have evidenced this reality to me, but I seem to see it most clearly when my faith is put to the test, and I am "forced", so to speak, to trust Him.  The fact that He chooses to refine and sanctify me so that I might be made more complete, more like Jesus, is something I don't fully understand, but is something that I become more and more thankful for with each test and trial.  I find myself realizing that it is BECAUSE of His great love that I am faced with trials, that although, painful at the moment, reap a rich harvest in my heart.  My perspective of who He is, is refocused as I cry out to Him as my "Abba, Father".  

I remember thinking, after one of the biggest trials of my life many years ago, that I actually liked trials. As foolish as it seemed at the moment (to the world), God had brought me to such a humble state, fully dependent upon Him, that I saw Him in a way that I had never seen Him before, and I experienced a fellowship with Him that was sweeter than ever before.  I longed to be back in that place after the trial had passed. As time went on, the Lord was gracious to remind me of that humble state by bringing me low again on many occasions.  I began to notice my initial response in those moments was also changing, I was being sanctified.  There was a precious gratitude that I began to feel towards the Father for those moments and I find myself there again today.  

The unknown has never been my favorite place to be.  Not that it is for any person, but some people seem to be more okay with the go with the flow lifestyle, that's not me...at all.  I like plans, consistency, and answers.  So, when I find myself in a circumstance with an unknown end, I am forced to fight the daily temptation to worry, fear, and seek control.  The Father, in His love and care, quickly and graciously reminds me of His perfect faithfulness, His sovereign control, and His plans that are greater then my own.  And I am humbled again, to dependency upon, and trusting in, the One who holds all things in the palm of His hands.  

As I faced the temptation to worry with this particular situation earlier this week, I fought to think truth (Philippians 4:8).  I sought to battle my emotions which wanted to take control.  And what I was amazed by, was that God's peace and grace supplied EXACTLY what I needed to sustain me in that weak moment.  I found myself not worrying, something that is often foreign to my sinful flesh.  I found myself crying, but not because I was scared, I was broken because I was experiencing the love of the Father through sanctification.  I KNEW in that moment that He was working on my heart, making me more like Jesus, more complete.  I was humbled.  

I don't know how much longer my journey here on earth is, whether it's 60 days, or 60 years, but I do know that He isn't through with me yet.  I know that He is continuing His Gospel work of sanctification in my heart, as He continues lavishing His love upon me.  And for that, I am so thankful. The trials in life are hard, but I wouldn't trade them for the reward of sweet fellowship and love I receive with the Father through the process.